Sunday, July 23, 2017

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, in a few minutes in fact, I lost my beloved Mum.  As it turns out I essentially lost my lovely Dad at that moment too.
Dad had started showing signs of dementia well before the accident, but with a strong structure he was able to live very well with my Mum at the helm; with her gone (and the circumstances of her passing) he began to unravel.  Five days after Mum died (the day I was at the Funeral Directors signing the last of the papers - the delay was due to the Coroner being involved) my sister rang and said she couldn't get Dad up.  We went there, thought he'd had a stroke and called the ambulance; turns out he had sepsis and was admitted to hospital where he stayed for ten days - he was allowed out for four hours to attend the funeral five days later.
Long story short the authorities decided on Dad's care without consultation with us - we were deemed "vulnerable" because of the Mum situation, the Power of Attorney I hold for him holding no sway-they treated vigorously an infection that could have easily seen him out, which he has repeatedly stated he wants, that has left him so damaged we were advised to find permanent residential care as soon as possible.  Turns out seven months of caring for a completely dependent, demented, incontinent person is "as soon as possible".  It was very hard, my sister lived with Dad I "did" days she did evenings/nights/mornings.  My husband and I did weekends - anyone who has dealt with caring for a parent with advanced dementia knows exactly the issues we faced, anyone who hasn't can't know; suffice to say "hard" doesn't begin to describe it. We had two sessions of respite, the first one at which he was assaulted by a fellow resident with more advanced dementiam
We got Dad into the facility of our choice on 1st March, then came the chore of preparing his house for sale to finance the $550,000 bond..  Trust us to have to sell (my husband and I are paying the interest on the unpaid bond at the rate of $603 a WEEK until the house sells) when the housing market is at the lowest for over ten years!
It took us two months to clear the house out - my sister returned to her home in the country for several weeks, so it was "my job", turns out Dad's been hoarding for years - cupboards FULL of neatly stacked JUNK!!
Now the house is not selling we are doing what we can (within financial reason) to freshen it up - we are currently repainting inside, it is a big house with four bedrooms three bathrooms and three living rooms so it's a LOT of painting... we are paying a painter to do the formal living and dining rooms as they have huge vaulted ceilings and we're not game to get on scaffold at our advanced age.  The agent can't believe it is not selling as it is a prime property - not much is moving in this section of the market, it should pick up "soon", whatever that means!
So hopefully I will get back to crafting (I've made two cards and two cakes in a year!) once the dust settles on this.  I go to see Dad every other day, but usually that is only an hour or so out of my day - once that's the only "extra" thing I have to fit in I can get back to it.
Of course I have had to sort my own place out too, to make room for some of the stuff that Mum has left us... I don't really want a full Old Country Roses dinner set, but Mum bought one for my sister and one for me, and told us that was her intention so I'll find a place for it :-) it's made me sort my craft stuff out too, ye gods and little fishes... talk about hoarding, lol.
Can't wait for this time of my life to be behind me, not enjoying it at all, but at least things are better than they were this time last year and the year to come should be better than the one gone
I won't post until I have something "craft-dee" to share, I do have LOADS in my drafts, so until then Happy Crafting

1 comment:

As.I.Do.Rodos. said...

Sending a hug Ginny x